Fire Eating for Conversation Starters

IMG_20130509_212346_990 (1)As many of you know, I’m on vacation. My family and I drove from Ohio to Orlando last weekend, a seventeen hour drive made of suck. Alas, we lived. We’re here and we had a blast together. No iPad, laptops or video games for the kids. They were forced to enjoy one another from the moment we unpacked until we get back in the car to go home – at which point I will gladly plug them in. Anyhow….Hubsy and I went to the Polynesian Resort for their luau dinner last night and it was awesome. I love being packed into a room full of happy people yammering away about their lives and vacation. Hubsy and I had a table to ourselves in the front row, which made eavesdropping very easy. No one paid any attention to us. All they saw was the back of our heads. But I was listening because I’m creepy like that.

The family behind us couldn’t get over the fire eaters and male dancers made of abs and glistening with something shiny. The men periodically murmured things like, “I need to get back to the gym” and “Sure, when you’re twenty-five it’s easy to look like that.” The women wondered how a fire eater gets insurance. “What must THAT cost?” they pondered. “Can you imagine his life insurance rates? What’s your profession? Fire eating. Well, that’s gonna cost ya.”

I sat sipping frozen punch from a giant coconut carved into a monkey face. My worst nightmare. You know I imagined no less than a dozen times that the monkey head came to life and bit my fingers off into bloody stumps. You should’ve seen the strange way I held the drink for that reason. My fear of monkeys only gets worse every day.

So, I’m not sure what all happened at the luau, but I have a slew of new story and character ideas. Crowds entertain me so very very much. Writers never know where inspiration will hit, I guess. And don’t get me started on what I learned about the Magic Bullet blender doo-dad my father in law made icees for the kids with. #deathmaker

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