My Phobias. A List – Ramble – Rant.

Do I have any phobias????

Why, yes. I am afraid of everything. Let me list a few things that freak me out. Are you ready? *clears throat* My shadow. Not a joke. Abduction. I also hate bugs, especially things that fly and spiders. All spiders. I don’t like the dark. I avoid stranger danger and new experiences in general. I dislike crowds, they make me panicky and insecure. I am terrified to the point of tears of monkeys. They can be on television or in photos. Doesn’t matter and I will not go anywhere near them at a zoo. I believe with all my soul they want to kill me in grotesque and animalistic ways. Moving on…..I also fear horses. Have you seen how fast they run? Have you seen the size of their teeth?? They kick, like really hard. They can kill you. I don’t like stray dogs or random loose animals because they want to bite me. I’m not a fan of driving and I detest highway travel. When I’m at the wheel, I will go thirty minutes out of my way to take back roads. I never watch or read scary stories and I hate when they show previews for scary things during the Today Show, my only non-recorded television viewing because then I have to cover my eyes and listen for it to be over. I fear Oompa Loompas, rightly so, because earlier this year there was an Oompa Loompa attack in London. I’m not joking. After twenty years of telling my mom they were dangerous, I had my proof. The dentist freaks me out, too and I sing old jingles in my head during every checkup and cleaning. I worry I will get lice in a theatre or bed bugs in hotels. I bring my own bowling shoes and roller skates. Rent shoes? Um, no. Attics and unfinished basements bother me. I don’t answer the door for deliveries. You will need to leave that junk on the doormat. I watch television. I know things. I also worry about killers posing as policemen, and something evil lurking at fairs, festivals and inside funhouses. Are you wondering how I survive? So am I.

I think I’ve been writing more suspense and mystery lately as an outlet for my multiple anxieties. It’s nice to see my characters survive. It gives me hope.

So, what bout you? Do you have any phobias?

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