Writing with Children Present

I know that I am preaching to the choir for most of my readers, but how do women manage to write anything coherent with children? I just heard a collective nodding of heads. Right?

I have three children. Two boys, one girl, ages 7, 4 1/2 and 2. They are loud. They argue. They ask a plethora of insanely disturbing questions, tattle, whine, and generally disturb the peace for 16 hours a day. It’s miraculous that I am able to keep a blog, let alone manage anything more complex.

The great thing about writing, as opposed to phone calls, for example, is that you have no idea it has taken my 35 minutes to get this far because my toddler is toilet training and my boys are pounding one another over a lost transformer weapon. Each son is equally certain that they are justified in their attack because their brother has obviously hidden said weapon. Thing is, I found it lodged in my bare foot at 3am when I got up to get Lily tylenol, and I put it away. Imagine that? Away, as in – look for it where it is supposed to be. So, I spent a few minutes in between paragraphs alternating between lecturer and referee.

I’m back now, and there are already two requests for popsicles (it’s 9am), pizza, (it’s 9am) and a chicken- not chicken, a chicken, like to raise. Pfft. So, I would continue to amaze you with my insightful blogging on how to create a masterpiece of literary fiction if I didn’t hear my daughter  pounding on the bathroom door because her brother locked her out, and the other brother is ticking off the reasons that raising a chicken (a chicken) would be a fabulous and fun family experience.

My next novel should be something along the lines of Blatherings of a Mom on Zero Sleep and Two Pots of Coffee. It would be a novella length number of incomplete thoughts and knock knock jokes, wherein the punch line is incomprehensible.

Now, I’m off to bake a pizza and order a chicken

2 comments to Writing with Children Present

  • I love this post! It is so true and most of us are moms. A chicken before 9 AM? That’s a good one. Popsicles and pizza I’ve gotten, but that’s a new one!

  • Oh my dear, I remember those days. I wish I could tell you they end. But they don’t. We still argue over chickens, for the fresh eggs and homegrown meat, except they have expanded to alpaca’s. Although honestly that is me whining for a pair. I can justify it. But the 9, 12, 13 and 17 year old aliens who reside in my home have moved on to greater and grander things like llama’s and a camel and even an elephant once. They would like a cow, but not for the meat. Just to have as a pet. I really wish I could remember the plethora of other animals they have asked for. Those are just the outside ones.

    Granted, we may live on an acreage, but seriously. An elephant? They were serious, by the way.

    Frogs are good.

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